Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Seattle, week three.

Well gorilla warriors, week three is in the books. Monday saw the Hickman line placed in my chest. It was a little sore the first day and a half or so but will make things a LOT easier on me as far as blood transfusions, blood draws and medicinal infusions. It's essentially a larger, more durable version of an IV line and can stay in much longer. Anything they need to infuse me with or draw from me comes/goes through this line and I don't have to get poked anymore, or at least until I'm done.

I have spent a lot of time reflecting on the past, not by choice, it just sort of happens. All good memories thankfully, maybe my life flashing before my eyes in slow motion? It has been a long strange trip and I thank you all for joining me along the way. As I look back over the years there have been an awful lot of good times... Rest assured I look forward to making a LOT more good memories with ALL of you!!!

So, where does that put me now? Well Sarah and I had a conference with two of the doctors and the head nurse. The lead doctor basically went over a synopsis of what will transpire over the next month, and what COULD happen. Not to scare us or give us a sense of dread, more their “legal obligation” to warn us of the potential risks. I was surprised at how well I took it all in until he got to the end and said something to the effect of “All of this could also lead to you being cured.” It was at that point that I felt the gorilla wince and if he weren't metaphorical I am quite certain he would have shrunk back into the corner. That was the single best thing I have heard in three and a half years. Yes I have heard other doctors mention it but somehow now it seems so much more tangible, so close to being in my grip... Eyes on the prize I march onward undaunted by the posturing and chest thumping of that infernal gorilla in the corner. Tomorrow morning I'll be going back to the MTU for a month long stay. Chemotherapy starts tomorrow with the transplant taking place just a week later. The three weeks after that will be waiting for the new cells to “engraft” and monitoring my progress, treating the various side effects with a laundry list of medications. After that I should be allowed to come back to the apartment with daily return visits, then every other day, then every three days etc. until they deem I am healthy enough to go HOME!!!

I greatly appreciate all that you have done, each and every one of you has had a large part to play in my struggle and I have no way of ever repaying you all save one, that I continue to fight and beat this, living out the rest of my days until I am old and gray. To BE the very best Tracy that I can be each and every day. This next month will be THE hardest trial I have ever faced and I will need your support now more than at any other time. I'd like to ask you all, if you can, to send postcards from any places that you visit or from wherever you happen to be. Also, if you have any crazy hats feel free to send them my way and I'll wear them in the MTU and wherever else I happen to go and I'll have someone take photos which I'll post here of me wearing them. The crazier the better but remember, I have a BIG head (I wear a size 7-1/2). Please keep them hats, sorry Jen., no tiaras. Remember that I'll have no hair and will need them to ward off the sun as I'll be especially sensitive to it's burning rays.

Stay strong and keep the faith, your support makes this so much easier.

All my love and gratitude, Tracy.


  1. Okie - where do I send the hats? ;o)
    -Brian E.

  2. I'll send it to you privately Brian.

  3. Luegge! You are like your own "Quick Lube" now... in and out in 15 minutes! :)

    Hey, I was dayreamin' about you today. Thinkin' about the Luegge and Dunn families camping in Yosemite (I've never been there), you and Sara telling my wife about old, embarrassing USAF stories, making Smores and drinking beer.

    As soon as the Doc gives you the green light, we are there!

    God bless you and yours,

  4. Just got around to reading this post, and I dropped a little something in the mail yesterday for you and Sarah. I sent it with glee!!!
    You are a real trooper! You know what you are facing, and you know it will be hard. I have no doubt you are up to the task, and I am praying not only for you to knock that gorilla down, but I'm praying that you wipe that mutha OUT!!! Why not go for the whole enchilada?? I'm jazzed about the doctor's words to you about this possibly bringing about a cure!!! Reach for the big prize; there's no reason not to. I love your courage, faith, and determined spirit. My love and prayers are with you and your family, and I know many others are supporting you likewise.